my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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