forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
