I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize