Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have already put on my inside pants.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
