Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
