Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
