My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
