somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Drunk is a universal language darling
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
