ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
