I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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