Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
