You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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