i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
