You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
