I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
