Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Randomize
