I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
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