you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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