What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
