i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's never too late to be topless.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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