Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
