I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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