drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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