$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
