So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
