hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
