Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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