Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
