i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
