im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize