He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize