This girl is more easily done than said...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think I just sharted jello shots
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
