I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
