So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize