No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize