Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
