just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
