in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
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