we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
