did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize