The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
