if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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