Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
honey bunches of taint.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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