the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
