Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
