I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
