How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
