I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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