I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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