I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
