god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
