But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
high people should be assigned attendants
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
