then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
