I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
