I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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