If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Randomize