THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
