We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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