i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
