Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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