I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
