I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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