I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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