I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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