If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
