why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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