I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
