I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
