reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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