You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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